


Giant Evilpuff chapter 2 - I will be your hero baby :) (let me be your hero)

by christianizcool



Category: Fire Emblem, Garfield - All Media Types, Lana Del Rey - Fandom, Metroid, Pokemon, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-10 02:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2008395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christianizcool/pseuds/christianizcool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The second chapter of 'Seduction and Battles,' the defining text of the zeitgeist</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giant Evilpuff chapter 2 - I will be your hero baby :) (let me be your hero)

previously… Roy learned he wasn’t in Super Smash Bros Brawl, and is about take his rage out on his gf and dog, Lana Del Rey and Odie

As Roy shakes his fist at Lana Del Rey, something curious happens

The tv begins animating and coming to life

Out of the tv, a sexy blue leg emerges…

It’s Zero Suit Samus (Zero Suit Samus is when she isn’t a robot and is hot)!

Zero Suit Samus: ‘Not so fast bucko.’ She uses her laser whip and wraps it around Roy’s wrist

Roy: ’What the sam hill’

Zero Suit Samus flings Roy across the room by his wrist

Roy flies towards the front window, which magically transforms into a black hole (more on that later)

Lana Del Rey: ‘Where did my dear Roy go?’

Zero Suit Samus embraces Lana Del Rey and let’s her rest her sad face on her big boob

Zero Suit Samus: ‘Don’t worry. He is safe, but he won’t harm you any longer’

The tv begins animating and coming to life, again!

All of a sudden, a dark haired young man flops out of the tv. ‘woah-oh-oh’ he says

Lana Del Rey: ‘Who is that?’ She lifts her head from Zero Suit Samus’s boob

Zero Suit Samus: ’Oh, that’s just Pokemon Trainer,’

Pokemon Trainer brushes cyber dust off his clothes

Lana Del Rey: ’That is a stupid name for a human’

Zero Suit Samus: ‘Not as stupid as his real name’

Lana Del Rey: ‘What is your real name?’

‘My name is Doug,’ says Pokemon Trainer (Doug). ‘And I have to tell you ma’am, you have beautiful lips’

Lana Del Rey: ’Doug is such a stupid name, and thank you. Why are you weirdos here anyway?’

Zero Suit Samus: ‘Have a seat darling,’ Zero Suit Samus brushes Lana Del Rey’s shoulder

Lana Del Rey sits down on the sofa and Zero Suit Samus sits on Roy’s La-Z-Boy. Doug sits on the sofa by Lana Del Rey

Zero Suit Samus: ‘We were on the way to Mongolia. There’s a terrible Pokemon threat there’

Doug: ’Our friend Jigglypuff has been cloned. Evil Team Plasma cloned her, and they now control a supersized, evil Jigglypuff!’

Zero Suit Samus: ‘So will you come with us to Mongolia? We can’t rescue you and then just leave you here’

Lana Del Rey stands up, outraged.

Lana Del Rey: ’You barge into my house, do something to my bf, and then expect me to leave with you?’

Zero Suit Samus stands up and embraces Lana Del Rey. Lana Del Rey’s head is resting on Zero Suit Samus’s big boob again

This big boob is making Lana Del Rey feel funny… a kind of feeling she didn’t know exists

Lana Del Rey: ’Alright, I’ll go, but only if my dog Odie can come too.’ Odie barks

to be continued…


End file.
